Items tagged with "Muller"

Trivia: He got that tie and wig from the principal's desk. The principal's desk is filled with nothing except new ties, wigs and replacement nameplates.


There can be no greater shame than the rejected high five. Your only course of action is hari-kari, or I guess you can high-five yourself but you'd look like a real schmuck.

Also, we have a new blog post in the blog section of the site, in case you want to check that out. I don't know how to make links, but if I did, hoo man, links ahoy, let me tell you! Just click on 'Jack's Blog' up there to read Jack's Blog. That's the best I can offer to you, I'm afraid, but I'm going to trust the rest of the operation in your hands. Jack out!


August 10, 2014


(That's Aquaman's symbol on Muller's shirt in panel 4.)

Well, I didn't have time to make comics this week, so I painted. Watercolor, to be exact. I apologize if this isn't how you visualized the coloring some things—Hugh's sweater is purple, Carl's a redhead and all that. I can forgive you if you were imagining it as a utopia where all redheads have been ethnically cleansed. That's a future we can all get behind.

I like how it came out, mostly. That background is a little too 'angry mustard' for my tastes, and Andromeda's shirt is, canonically, a little less aggressively kiwi. But overall, I give it a 6/10. I'll see you all next week for a brand new comic.

July 26, 2014


Annihilation has such a bad connotation these days. 'I'm going to 'annihilate' your family'. 'The Earth will be 'annihilated''. We need to reclaim it! I'm going to 'annihilate' this kitten...With hugs! I'm going to 'annihilate' the town...With support for my community! I'm going to 'annihilate' this homemade cardigan...With my delicate needlework!

Always remember proper first aid, in case of an emergency:

If the bone is broken, immediately drink a glass of milk. Calcium, mm-mm.

If you are bleeding profusely, try natural remedies, like rubbing small twigs and raccoon scat in the wound. Just like the Native Americans did.

If you learn that you are in the early stages of a fatal disease such as Malaria, try believing in yourself. If it doesn't work, you didn't believe in yourself enough.

For third degree burns or gunshot wounds, try herbal tea. Really. You'd be surprised.


Over seven people are killed each year from the high-risk lifestyle of Moon Juice addiction. It's kind of hard to make, you have to mix a bottle of bleach with some alka-seltzer and like a bathtub full of LSD, but once you make it let me tell you, you will be tripping harder than a blind man at a pothole convention.

Stay off the Juice, kids, don't be a Fool...ce.

June 29, 2014


Haha! That was some clever editing, right there, just like he said. What can I say, I'm good.


I'm prone to minimalist backgrounds, so it doesn't distract from the joke or body language, or clutter the panels, which is more of a danger when you're working with black and white as opposed to colors. I actually removed a door in the background of a future comic because it was too intrusive. I like little things that just suggest the setting, like the bit of flaming bus wreckage in panel one. It's much subtler. Plus, less work for me, so there's some pointers right there.


If I was Dennis Hopper in Speed, I would rig buses so that if they went ABOVE 50 miles per hour they would explode. They'd say, "That seems like an irrational and not terribly dangerous form of terrorism", and I'd say I'm doing it to compel people to be more careful drivers and not abuse the speed limit, especially in school zones. I'd be the deadly 'Mostly Inneffectual But Quite Informative Advocate For Highway And Auto Safety Bomber'.

Fc26e280943Look at Hugh's left arm in panel three. That looks to be an uncomfortable position to be in. Perhaps he's horribly dislocated his shoulders in between panels, a silent yet perceptibly painful protest to being a fictional character in an imaginary world, doomed to live out an immortal existence devoid of free will that compels him to follow his preordained path to a unavoidable destination, conscious the entire time of his wretched illusory reality and the lack of autonomy it represents. Or I was tired and felt like a nap, so I phoned it in on the picture-making. Either way.


What happened to the days when city buses had massive snack bars, and water beds, and home entertainment systems with Kindergarten Cop on DVD? I'll tell you: never, because I made all of that up, right now. However, I don't see why our government can't institute that. They should just sell most of the buses and spend all of the money on one enormous, super deluxe bus, with sweet flame decals and Speed Racer-esque car superpowers, like those car stilts or the submarine mode or that weird android homing pigeon one. Or just cut out the middleman entirely and launch people from place to place through Wile E. Coyote catapults. Why hasn't the government done this? I can't tell you; I don't think anyone could. Thanks, OBAMA.


It seems inconvenient to build a liquor store right next to a sharp incline like that. If I lived there or near there, I'd go to the store at night and wait for the drunks to stumble out in a stupor, and then wait for them to pass out and then roll them down the hill, for fun. Like cow-tipping, except more sadistic. Now that I think about it, that's going on my life bucket list. That makes more than two things:

—Roll a drunk down a hill
—Invent jetpack hockey
—Golden Girls/Firefly crossover


It sure is convenient that hobos take on descriptive monikers like that. You need not wonder what to expect from a fellow named 'Armpit Steve'.*

*Pro Tip: Expect armpits of some kind.


I love that moustache so much. if I could grow facial hair, I don't think there would be any doubts that that would be what I would wear. That, or I would die my hair green, grow it until it went entirely over my body, and then pretend to be an overly large chia pet. And I would pose in the corner in a pot in my cover story guy's house, and then the guy would bring his house guests over and say "You like my giant chia pet? I got it off eBay," and then I would jump out at them and they'd scream, and then we'd all have a good laugh.


In hindsight, I wonder why they're all sitting on one side of the table, assumedly quite uncomfortably crushed together, facing coincidentally exactly where the 'camera' is facing them. Perhaps they're all watching something interesting out the window. Perhaps a costumed bear is doing tricks off-screen, and that's why they're interested. You know, like at the circus. I don't know how a bear would get in there though. Perhaps a teleporting bear. THAT'S CANON NOW

This is our first comic with a credit line, and doesn't it look pretty! I'm going to be replacing all previous comics with ones with that credit line, so prepare yourselves. That's all for today, I'm afraid. Shalom, my friends, and Biz Shpeter!

It's these kind of philosophical debates which make my comic stand out from all the rest. Whose fault would it be, if someone robbed someone else's house and the house owner shot themself, through incompetence? Probably the guy who shot himself for the shooting thing, but the robber for the separate thing of robbing his house.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this comic. However, this is a double update, so click that 'next' button for the other new comic!


Day late again. I'm buying a calendar though. On the bright side, you get two comics in one day! Be sure to go over to Body in the Foyer to see the other one. The button's up there, on the top bar. Case you're interested. Just an idea. You can click on it by moving your finger on your little computer pad up there, and then pressing down. Or use your mouse and/or mouse button. Again, just a suggestion. It's really good today.

P.S., yes, that's a roman column Carl's touching in panel 1. Andromeda has roman columns in her house. That's to emphasize the richness.


Yay, I'm actually updating on time! Good job, me. Man, why did this one require so much drawing? It took a while to complete. Look at that mountain lion, though. Fearsome as all get out.


Finally! I can draw something other than a window and that picture on JJ's wall. It was getting tiring. On the other hand, more work for me. I can't win, honestly.

On another note, look at that tree through the window in the last panel there. Good God. That's practically a Monet, right there.

Unfortunately, due to having to re-download my drawing application and missing a morning of work and other things, this Monday I will not update French Club. I will be working on a new blog function, however, and French Club will update as usual on Friday. So you can get excited about that. To sate you, here's a drawing of what Muller would look like wearing a series of hats. Ecstatic, that's what he would look like. He likes hats.


Here it is, the first computer-drawn French Club! It turned out quite well, methinks me. I told you people I was drawing it in a new shape and format, but it didn't work. I have to reformat the other comics I drew up in the same size and shape, but I'm alright with that because I really like this new square shape. It looks a lot cooler then what I was going to do. Also, for the next two weeks, anyone you see in the comic is going to be a main character, although I suppose you could have gathered that from the About Page. Alright, I have to go churn out some more funnies for you ungrateful cads. Adieu, fellow webbernetocyberters.