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Items tagged with "Carl"


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Trivia: He got that tie and wig from the principal's desk. The principal's desk is filled with nothing except new ties, wigs and replacement nameplates.



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There can be no greater shame than the rejected high five. Your only course of action is hari-kari, or I guess you can high-five yourself but you'd look like a real schmuck.

Also, we have a new blog post in the blog section of the site, in case you want to check that out. I don't know how to make links, but if I did, hoo man, links ahoy, let me tell you! Just click on 'Jack's Blog' up there to read Jack's Blog. That's the best I can offer to you, I'm afraid, but I'm going to trust the rest of the operation in your hands. Jack out!


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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAACKKKECKKAC*cough cough cough* Ahem.

August 10, 2014


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(That's Aquaman's symbol on Muller's shirt in panel 4.)


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Well, I didn't have time to make comics this week, so I painted. Watercolor, to be exact. I apologize if this isn't how you visualized the coloring some things—Hugh's sweater is purple, Carl's a redhead and all that. I can forgive you if you were imagining it as a utopia where all redheads have been ethnically cleansed. That's a future we can all get behind.

I like how it came out, mostly. That background is a little too 'angry mustard' for my tastes, and Andromeda's shirt is, canonically, a little less aggressively kiwi. But overall, I give it a 6/10. I'll see you all next week for a brand new comic.

July 26, 2014


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Annihilation has such a bad connotation these days. 'I'm going to 'annihilate' your family'. 'The Earth will be 'annihilated''. We need to reclaim it! I'm going to 'annihilate' this kitten...With hugs! I'm going to 'annihilate' the town...With support for my community! I'm going to 'annihilate' this homemade cardigan...With my delicate needlework!


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Always remember proper first aid, in case of an emergency:

If the bone is broken, immediately drink a glass of milk. Calcium, mm-mm.

If you are bleeding profusely, try natural remedies, like rubbing small twigs and raccoon scat in the wound. Just like the Native Americans did.

If you learn that you are in the early stages of a fatal disease such as Malaria, try believing in yourself. If it doesn't work, you didn't believe in yourself enough.

For third degree burns or gunshot wounds, try herbal tea. Really. You'd be surprised.


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This is oddly topical, it being July and all. I'd like some grenades for fireworks, cause what's more American than blowing things up? For the next fourth of July, I want to explode a grenade, while eating a hot dog, voting, watching a baseball game, saluting the American flag and punching a Russian. Then I'd probably get arrested for the grenade thing and assaulting a Russian person, but the real reason would be for being too patriotic. COMMIES.


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Over seven people are killed each year from the high-risk lifestyle of Moon Juice addiction. It's kind of hard to make, you have to mix a bottle of bleach with some alka-seltzer and like a bathtub full of LSD, but once you make it let me tell you, you will be tripping harder than a blind man at a pothole convention.

Stay off the Juice, kids, don't be a Fool...ce.




June 29, 2014


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Haha! That was some clever editing, right there, just like he said. What can I say, I'm good.


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I'm prone to minimalist backgrounds, so it doesn't distract from the joke or body language, or clutter the panels, which is more of a danger when you're working with black and white as opposed to colors. I actually removed a door in the background of a future comic because it was too intrusive. I like little things that just suggest the setting, like the bit of flaming bus wreckage in panel one. It's much subtler. Plus, less work for me, so there's some pointers right there.



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If I was Dennis Hopper in Speed, I would rig buses so that if they went ABOVE 50 miles per hour they would explode. They'd say, "That seems like an irrational and not terribly dangerous form of terrorism", and I'd say I'm doing it to compel people to be more careful drivers and not abuse the speed limit, especially in school zones. I'd be the deadly 'Mostly Inneffectual But Quite Informative Advocate For Highway And Auto Safety Bomber'.


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What happened to the days when city buses had massive snack bars, and water beds, and home entertainment systems with Kindergarten Cop on DVD? I'll tell you: never, because I made all of that up, right now. However, I don't see why our government can't institute that. They should just sell most of the buses and spend all of the money on one enormous, super deluxe bus, with sweet flame decals and Speed Racer-esque car superpowers, like those car stilts or the submarine mode or that weird android homing pigeon one. Or just cut out the middleman entirely and launch people from place to place through Wile E. Coyote catapults. Why hasn't the government done this? I can't tell you; I don't think anyone could. Thanks, OBAMA.


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It seems inconvenient to build a liquor store right next to a sharp incline like that. If I lived there or near there, I'd go to the store at night and wait for the drunks to stumble out in a stupor, and then wait for them to pass out and then roll them down the hill, for fun. Like cow-tipping, except more sadistic. Now that I think about it, that's going on my life bucket list. That makes more than two things:

—Roll a drunk down a hill
—Invent jetpack hockey
—Golden Girls/Firefly crossover


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It sure is convenient that hobos take on descriptive monikers like that. You need not wonder what to expect from a fellow named 'Armpit Steve'.*

*Pro Tip: Expect armpits of some kind.


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I love that moustache so much. if I could grow facial hair, I don't think there would be any doubts that that would be what I would wear. That, or I would die my hair green, grow it until it went entirely over my body, and then pretend to be an overly large chia pet. And I would pose in the corner in a pot in my cover story guy's house, and then the guy would bring his house guests over and say "You like my giant chia pet? I got it off eBay," and then I would jump out at them and they'd scream, and then we'd all have a good laugh.


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Hmm. I'm not sure how happy I am with Carl's hand in panel 3, but it's too late now. In other news, share buttons are going to be rapidly coming to this website, so get ready for that! Aloha, readers.


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In hindsight, I wonder why they're all sitting on one side of the table, assumedly quite uncomfortably crushed together, facing coincidentally exactly where the 'camera' is facing them. Perhaps they're all watching something interesting out the window. Perhaps a costumed bear is doing tricks off-screen, and that's why they're interested. You know, like at the circus. I don't know how a bear would get in there though. Perhaps a teleporting bear. THAT'S CANON NOW


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This is our first comic with a credit line, and doesn't it look pretty! I'm going to be replacing all previous comics with ones with that credit line, so prepare yourselves. That's all for today, I'm afraid. Shalom, my friends, and Biz Shpeter!

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If I may say so myself, the art in this comic is getting pretty consistent! Look how similar that poster looks in panels 1, 2 and 4! Nah, I'm punking you, I totally cut and pasted it.

In other news, this is a double update, so click that 'previous' button to read the comic that comes before this!


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It's these kind of philosophical debates which make my comic stand out from all the rest. Whose fault would it be, if someone robbed someone else's house and the house owner shot themself, through incompetence? Probably the guy who shot himself for the shooting thing, but the robber for the separate thing of robbing his house.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this comic. However, this is a double update, so click that 'next' button for the other new comic!



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Woohoo, update! They're in an ambulance in the last panel, by the way, in case you can't tell. I didn't really know what to draw in the background there to tip you off to it being an ambulance. I originally had a sign that said something like 'this is an ambulance' but that seemed a little on the nose. I suppose if you didn't know it was an ambulance you'd assume it's a hospital room, which would work just as well. So never mind, like one's life or a wad of play-doh, that last panel can be anything you want it to be.

P.S. After last week's debacle of having to design an entire house for the background, they're facing the other side of the street now. So there's only a lamppost and some bushes. Do lampposts still exist, even? Well, they do in this town, anyway.




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In case you think I messed up and updated an hour late, you're wrong. My clock says, right there, 9:57. So that's, like, three minutes early. If your clock says something else, it must be a time...difference. You know, time zones and stuff.

On a side note, it took me like an hour to draw Hugh's house and that ambulance in the background, jeez! Look at that! It has an odd two-dimensional quality to it, though, like Hugh is living in some sort of a space-warp. That's a thing, and it's canonical now.



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Did I tell you, or did I tell you? I might be wrong, but my optical nerves tell me that it is, right now, 9:22 AM, Central Time. Is that correct? Is it, readers? Because my eyes do not lie. You're welcome, everyone.

On a side note, I've noticed that the pattern of Hugh's sweater appears to be manipulating the laws of physics to make it not change or halt the endless wave of plaid no matter which way you rumple it. I can only conclude that this is some bizarre aperture in the space-time continuum, formed when Hugh decided to wear something I'm too lazy to draw correctly. BOOM, CANONIZED.



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Yes, I know, it's late. However, I just bought a calendar to help me keep track of this, and I've decided to make a specific time on the update days so that I won't exploit the loophole and update five minutes from midnight or something. From now on, comics will always be updated by ten o'clock on, as you know, Monday, Friday and Saturday. So you're welcome.


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Day late again. I'm buying a calendar though. On the bright side, you get two comics in one day! Be sure to go over to Body in the Foyer to see the other one. The button's up there, on the top bar. Case you're interested. Just an idea. You can click on it by moving your finger on your little computer pad up there, and then pressing down. Or use your mouse and/or mouse button. Again, just a suggestion. It's really good today.

P.S., yes, that's a roman column Carl's touching in panel 1. Andromeda has roman columns in her house. That's to emphasize the richness.



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Yay, I'm actually updating on time! Good job, me. Man, why did this one require so much drawing? It took a while to complete. Look at that mountain lion, though. Fearsome as all get out.




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Finally! I can draw something other than a window and that picture on JJ's wall. It was getting tiring. On the other hand, more work for me. I can't win, honestly.

On another note, look at that tree through the window in the last panel there. Good God. That's practically a Monet, right there.


March 14, 2014


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 And we're back! You're welcome. About that new blog feature: It's almost done. Get excited, people. It'll probably be up by tomorrow, so don't touch that dial! Or do, because if I had a computer that operates through dials I'd want to fiddle with it as well. Because that would be very steampunk, like airships and clockwork. I believe I may have gotten off topic.